I want you to imagine something with me…
A pale brain floating in a jar, bristling with living pubic hair.
Walking outside in the winter is awful.
I hate being sweating hot in some places and burning cold in others.
I love being covered in breadcrumbs and flour like an unprecedentedly giant hobbit after breaking into an elvish bakery.
Daily, I stare directly at the sun
Eyes wide until it hurts my brain
Now I don’t do it just for fun
I find it’s the best way stay sane
Cause if you do it till its done
It sears the crazy thoughts away
I want to buy a calendar of hot firefighters. But not just shirtless men with mustaches wearing yellow suspenders. I want buff, nearly-naked men having fisticuffs with a fire elemental.